Tuesday, October 26, 2004

Getting Surreal

What the hell am I doing?

I'm going crazy. Ever since I first got pulled into this whole ordeal, ever since Mark's first email to me, I've been spiraling. Now I'm struggling just to separate the facts from the fog, the real from the unreal. For weeks, I've been trying to keep his disappearance (and everything trailing after that) at arm's length, and I've failed. I'm an absolute mess. I don't know what to think. I can't help the Condrys or Jen anymore than I already am, yet I feel wholly inadequate to answer their questions. The truth is I simply don't know. I don't. I wish I did. The one person who can answer them has been missing since September 21, and it's possible he lied to me about what he was doing.

And to make matters worse, I can't even lean on Connie. She doesn't like the fact that I keep updating Mark's site, or that I'm talking to Jen in the middle of the night. But I don't think she understands. The questions she asks, they're always centered around Jen, and what I was talking about on the phone. I know that tone of hers. In the midst of this terrifying ordeal, she thinks I'm cheating on her!

I can't dump my thoughts and feelings on the site I made for Mark -- too many people (including Jen and Connie) are paying attention now. And when I've called Cam, he's been more interested in the crazy theories than how I'm feeling. The email box I set up for questions by Mark's family is now flooded with messages from total strangers, some of them a little too eager to help. Or maybe I'm just paranoid now.

I need a place to unload all these things weighing me down. And, as I have come to appreciate so well in the last month -- a place to record events in my life. This is just for me. A little sanctuary, or maybe a confessional.

Here's something I haven't told Connie yet, nor Jen for that matter. Yesterday morning when I took out the trash, I saw a man standing at the other end of the alley, over on the La Brea side. Just standing there, staring at me. He was wearing this sweatsuit like a jogger wears, it looked dirt-stained, and his hair was unkempt. I tried not to stare back. I think he may be homeless.

This morning I saw him again, down by Olympic. Just standing and staring at me as I drove by.

Christ, I'm going out of my mind, I just know it.

15 Comments:

Blogger insanetheories101 said...

dont let that bullshit get 2 u i got some ideas 2 visit my page

1:10 PM  
Blogger Zan said...

You aren't going insane Eric, but I fear what will happen to you if you get too close. I'm probably overdramatizing. Ignore me. If you need someone to talk to, feel free to e-mail me at zantheman@gmail.com or over AIM at xSn4k3Ch4rm3rx. God I hope you didn't make all this up. Yea, the paranoid half of me.

9:40 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

That's pretty freaky, alright.

Wish you luck!

10:26 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Stay brave man!! DONT DIE!!! this is scarey as mess!! wont be able to sleep tonight heh...O God man dont stare back do a few incantations..talk to ur local wicca!! and get a dream caster!!! Dont say loved 1's names around him!! DO WHAT U CAN TO SAVE U AND UR LOVED ONES!!

8:05 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

are you guys just stringing this out... same skeptical guy 8/10 yeah yeah... ok well if this shit is true man I'm sorry for disrespecting the seriousness of it, but you keep adding links upon links, mit hasnt stopped... best 2 hours of reading in MONTHS, mgood job connecting the real world and symptoms of your girlfriend earlier not kissing you then thinking your cheating on her... the dirt must be an alusion to the plant, but subtley "stained with dirt", the truck "caked in dirt" not covered or ect lol man awesome !... make some money off this dude novel it, this is great stuff... Andy Ross is my name I live in Katy Houston wtf... I found this story while looking for ghost stories, earlier I felt a cold presence and saw a black orb... is this thing sucking me in or what?... cigam8ball is my AIM I will help if I can man... I respect your decision to not include me or whatever but if I get sucked in with this thing include me... I dont wanna turn out like andrew... although earlier this year I went through psychjosis, and have felt emtied out for months... nthis started in septimber... finally overcoming it with meds ect... mcould this somehow be it's cause... wtf...

4:09 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Alright I keep feeling cold freakin email me man this is gay, starting to get freaked out... WTF happened this is months old, Eric dude... reply please


Dude read that girl's blog... Liney, the girl she is babysitting is repeating stuff random stuff, like andrew... anyhow... the babysitter talks about how Linney is progressivly being effecvted by the house... she made some room in her dollhouse magicmarkered and said it smell of cands ect... like all the descriptions of the house and candy... I think its like hanzel and gretel, maybee a lure the house is using ( assuming this shit is real) anyhow Eric, I am trying to tell you man look at her blog... she posted the rhyme liney was saying croocked man blah blah blah... anyhow judgeing by the progression Danielle or whatever, the babysitter has been infected by the house...



there was a crooked man
and he walked a crooked mile
he found a crooked sixpence
upon a crooked stile
he bought a crooked cat
who caught a crooked mouse
and they all lived together
in a crooked little house



red rover red rover let jenny come over


thats what she posted, add the peices together man its not that complicated... dude if you amde all this shit up atleast give us a cool ending, dont justy drop off...

if n ot good luck man and go with alot of people, feasr not the sweatsuit man = )

4:28 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

this story is total BS it was a complete waste of time, its not the least bit scary,NOT at all!!

6:03 AM  
Blogger selina said...

Deadly story kept me captivated for hours. goodluck in future eric looking forward to the film. xxx

8:41 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

The Door is Open

2:10 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I closed the door, it was letting a draft in.

8:58 PM  
Anonymous Z said...

it will find you

6:18 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Read "House of Leaves" by Mark Zaneleski

5:35 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

i know what was on the computer screens.

5:44 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

This reminds me so much of House of Leaves its ridiculous.

That's probably why it freaks me out so much.

12:54 PM  
Anonymous cherish said...

This is some freaky ish man! i believe these type of things thats why its so scary. if this is fake, good job! i hope it is,for your friends andrew and mark,yet i hope its not cause wat would be the point in this?
please keep us updated!IM me and lemme kno wats up aim is cherish2002
good luck!

8:09 AM  

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